Feature Photo Courtesy of…. Here

Tuesday, October 12, 2021

They just walk really fast. You’ll never catch them through the terminals. In fact, they board much sooner. Yeah. Way before our honored men and women servicing our country. They’re ahead of those needing assistance. And even before the bougie first-class passengers.

When the gold members of the airline’s ‘sky-elite’ classes are boarding, these extraterrestrials are sitting so far upfront, first-captains are embarrassed…

Why?

Because.

But before I get into that, these ‘catch me if you can’ creatures pretty much hide in plain site. Assuming you’ve seen one going through TSA-precheck, you’d likely think you’re looking at the average Joe, or Jane, getting cleared to play on an airplane.

Correction, no one plays on these airplanes. We’re talking about a flying piece of metal. But those UFO flying phat cats, they play on airplanes.

Don’t worry, it’s nothing like the Gremlin to the left.

They play in ways making the pilots cringe and flight attendants wince. There’s no harm in what they do in-flight. They’re actually the reason flying is the safest mode to travel.

You know that feeling when the plane is on its final approach, and you get pulled forward as the fuselage is tilting down a bit?

That’s them.

And once wheels down, that relief of butterflies swarming through your gut is them, too.

When you’re unbuckling your seatbelt and the jetway is aligning with the airplane’s door, they’re way past baggage claim. E.T.’s good at staying out of airport workers’ way.

Pilots on the other hand, aren’t keeping cockpit doors shut for safety measures. Nor are they hiding mile-high club initiatives. They’re just like me, making stuff up on the go.

Also, behind cockpit doors, captains are playing poker with these predator looking Big Men. Dealers at ground-control have to keep 10-4ing them their next move. How else do you think pilots multi-task at such elevations?

Okay….. enough with the bullshit, because I don’t know where this is going.

So, I’ll come clean.

Pilots aren’t embarrassed. Aliens aren’t riding aircrafts like Free Willy. And no one’s playing cards in the cockpit. This is really about following an idea that every so often, some one on an airplane doesn’t belong.

I was thinking for a second that I could follow a train of thought, starting with the line, which is the title of this post, and end at an epiphany. Instead, I’m dumbfounded in words that probably shouldn’t be.

Much how I found myself getting on an airplane to go for a jog down the street.

Street, as in, a very, very long drive [flight] down I-5.

Okay?

And I did this twice by the way, because I wanted to see something.

So that’s all I have to say, it’s all I have today 🙂

-Budd

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Born and raised in Portland, Oregon, Budd writes because no one can 'read' him. And it's a great way to hide public thoughts...

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