I recently wrote about my floatation tank experience, this is a stand-alone sequel of three I’ll publish. Thanks for reading!
November 14, 2018

War for GOD II: KALI

Love’s biggest secret is that many individuals are bliss to its layers. The understanding of these layers is not determined by chance or fate, but rather the path an individual decides to take.

If you didn’t read War with GOD I: in Black, this is the second of 3 I’ll publish about this topic. I’ll conclude with War and GOD: The People. I’ll take you into the mind of an honest writer because I was curious too as a child. These pieces will stand alone so its’s not necessary to read them in sequence, but I highly recommend you do.

To recap War with GOD I: in Black, I wrote about my recent Floatation Tank experience and the stages I manifested to get fully sensory deprived. I floated in the dark; atop silky luke-warm water enclosed in a tank of water filled with 800lbs of Epson salt.

No sight, sound, touch, or smell but I saw black. The experience was one of two dark times in my life I’ve shared with people.

Every stage from right before the experience was a mental challenge. If you’ve never experienced the floatation tank, imagine attempting to release every sensory that makes us human in the moment. Thanks to the staff at the Everett House Community Healing Center, who made it convenient and worthwhile.

One of the ladies there, she coined an expression for when I was done, “you’ll be fresh out the wound…”

After getting into the dark tank I had to find balance floating in the silky luke-warm water. Then figure out how to make orderly corporeal motions. I let go and let GOD do my thinking. The only 2 things I recall physically was seeing black, and the stories in my head that somehow manifested. The war was in deciding what to think. How do you decide not to think, or better asked, who’ll decide for me in that moment?

Who is Kali?

If you’re familiar with the divine Hindu GODDESS Kali-Ma, then her.

She is a GODDESS of many characteristics, known as the divine mother of dark, the Hindu GODDESS of creation, preservation and destruction. And no, I do not worship her.

Kali was a significant reference in my War with GOD I: in Black post published last week after hearing GOD be characterized as a Black woman. This is an aged idea. During my floatation tank experience, I came to respect the feminist aspects of our GODLY actions and outcomes.

This is for agnostics, atheists, and those who are confused in between. Maybe after reading this you’ll understand my GOD. Or, decide if he even exists.

Kali maybe divine in the aspects of feminist culture, spirituality, and the most misunderstood icons of good versus evil, but she’s also my 7-week-old puppy I recently adopted from the Oregon Humane Society.

She’s a really good girl. So, stay tuned because I’ll have more on this boopper next week! #followthisblog

The many perceptions of Kali explained life for me in another form, in terms of something that was empty. In other words, once I was confident of my own well-being, I understood the synergy needed to succeed in modern society. Whatever that means to you.

I won’t always need a woman to be successful in my life — I’ve proven that to myself. On the other hand I’ve needed women just as much to fail me in life. Meaning, I’ve made unwarranted decisions in my past against and/or with them. But when I spoke about maintaining balance in the floatation tank, it was for the synergy of life needed to thrive. The synergy is the balance; if there is an itch to scratch in the silky salty water, a disorderly motion may cause disturbance. So, applying orderly motions was required to take care of the itch.

At first, I forgot what goes up, must come down. So, in order to take care of this itch without causing any disturbance in the water, I moved both my right and left arm down under deeper into the silky salty water to scratch my butt when it itched. The balance was maintained, and I got to float, float on….

Coo’ story bro…

The consequences of disturbing the balance are random. I know that if you disturb, or go against the laws of the floatation tank, which for me were balance and order, then you could either slip out of control, get salt into your eye, and defeat its purpose.

But maybe some people do fun shit in there? Let me know if you do, I’ll try it on my next float.

You can be creative in the mind even if you decide to think. The abundant part is also how you interpret the experience. The purpose of the floatation is similar in a way that it may not be for everybody.

Why was Kali significant for me in this experience?  

Modern popular Smashan Kali. Painting by Raja Ravi Varma

When I first saw a picture of the Hindu GODDESS Kali-Ma, I Googled her. Then I went to research and confirm online articles on Google Scholars.

The imagery of Kali is often why she’s misunderstood. But in the context of time, her image was necessary.

In the context of time, her image can also be scary. In the same way her image represents Joy and Happiness. Because in the context of time, Kali is the consequence of disturbing the balance.

She is the worst thing that can happen to a man, resembling the spider on my wall, yet GOD blessed those who don’t suffer from arachnophobia. Maybe you suffer from the fear of darkness, anxiety, time, preservation or self-destruction.

She’s symbolic of the Ego killer from within.

Kali was simply a thought manifested in the floatation tank as I fought darkness in black. The more I thought about it, she came to be an afterthought when I fought time, because I only had 90 minutes in the tank. The anxiety was there, sort of, but then I remembered the balance and order. As those were maintained, I had no issues with anxiety, even while scratching my butt.

Maintaining all the above meant avoiding the consequences and not causing muddled salty water around me to splash. But then all you do is float, and let the stories manifest on your own mind’s line of thought. Which is hard, thinking without thinking. You can decide what you think…

Meanwhile sensory deprived, vision in space, empty in black. Hearing is silent, like space. And my weightless body creates a void, as does taste.

If you don’t believe in GOD or GODDESSES, I’m happy you read this far.

Assuming the sensory deprivation part of the experience is just you thinking, to a point you’ll either fall asleep, or your brain will operate per usual if you don’t have an anxiety attack in the tank. Maybe you can do some planning, mix it up..? Just be sure to welcome the dark thoughts.

That’s how I got to share with people my other dark time in life. Maybe it’s time you go read War with GOD I: in Black, if you haven’t already.

It’s worth mentioning, religion will assume one GOD; the father, the son, and the spirit to whom is worshiped. Yoga, to unite. To unite people, I’d assume.

No more or less than Tupac revolutionizing rap culture through his aggressive lyrics, thriving to unite oppressed people. A black savant for some people.

But he had to loot the enemy first, it’s somewhat debatable but highly misunderstood in my opinion. Go Google Thuggee.

Hopefully people understand that.

Next, I’ll tell you about me coming out the wound, or the end of my floatation tank experience. This will be for the people..


Born and raised in Portland, Oregon, Budd writes to encourage readers to explore the depths of their inner ocean, an unexplored self, because it's fun once you get through the emotional part... “The world around us is our vehicle, what you'll read is how I digest it.” -Budd

3 Comment on “War for GOD II: KALI

  1. Pingback: War with GOD I: In Black | @VehicleDigest.net

  2. Pingback: War & GOD III: the People | @VehicleDigest.net

  3. Pingback: #AMWritingSCIFI: And She’s Still A Good Girl! | @VehicleDigest.net

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