They Built The Sh!t

Sunday, February 6, 2022

Over a span of thirty centuries, which is one-hundred years thirty times, the Egyptian civilization built tombs for their kings’ mummified bodies. While some tombs are pyramids, others are embedded in mountains or temples.

The pyramids have many theories around how they were built—including the History Channel telecasting that damn ‘Ancient Alien’ idea all day.

…it’s soo disrespectful.

Through the list of pyramid theories, even Egyptians laugh at the alien idea. And yeah, I asked a couple people in Cairo, from our tour guides, an Egyptologist, and some street hustlers.

You see that pyramid?

The Black Pyramid of Amenemhat III – Trips In Egypt

It’s fucked up.

They didn’t build it like that, but aliens wouldn’t have engineered such a mountain rock, considering there are plenty that still remain in fair shape centuries later. The Black Pyramid’s substructure (above) was thirty-three feet above sea level—and too close to the edge of the Nile. Which back then flooded, making the base erode as they were constructing it.

And this one.

Bent Pyramid of Sneferu

Someone didn’t understand the equilateral triangle. But it’s suggested that the angles were too steep, and the pyramid, back then, began collapsing.

Red Pyramid of Dashur

One theory, is that because the Nile River played a significant role in moving the limestones, these rocks were floated and pushed over soft sand to the bases of the Pyramid, then rolled on top of tree trunks to be flipped by thousands of workers. Once they needed to be stacked, they had pulley systems and ramps to help workers lift them. This is one part of history’s lost technology.

Old pictures near The Pyramids of Giza show how water used to be next to them—because it would flood the desert between Cairo, Giza, and Aswan.

Aswan is where the pyramids’ interior’s granite rock come from.

Our tour guide told us that the instructions to building these perfected triangular mountains are encoded in their hieroglyphics—mainly to have been passed down and followed by their proceeded dynasties and civilizations. These instructions got lost in translation between scribes during wars, colonization, and a long exodus from droughts.

Seeing the different shapes, sizes and structures of these pyramids that were built over time suggest one thing every civilization will experience.

Trial and error.




Cairo is a very busy city. Having experienced traffic in my three weeks there, I learned that crossing the street was like frogger. Except cars will actually stop or slow down for you. Drivers hunk their horns 24/7—meaning, it’s all I heard through the night.

I believe Mondays are when the smog got bad. To my understanding, their farm waste is burned.

I posted an Instagram story of me walking through Eldoki, and my cousin responded saying it looks like a bomb went off in the city.

And it does. But I thought it was beautiful.

What was most annoying were the street hustlers—who all told me, “You walk like an Egyptian,” and I don’t.

I’ve never been stared at soo much in my life, by people who are actually nice. I know they’re just curious. They probably thought I was an alien. Which doesn’t set them far apart from the people who think aliens built their ancestors’ tombs.

We’re all human—fucking up something.

Maybe one day we’ll practice the fact that we’re much more resilient together when we accept our failures. And more importantly, accept others’ failures. Otherwise, we’re dehumanizing cultures and underestimating their brilliance.

So considering back then, people weren’t on computers, phones, and video games all day—for thirty centuries, they built shit—every damn hour of the day!



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