Friday, December 6, 2019
First creating the relative idea around success, it’s not the same for everyone. Your peer’s definition of succeeding might be an event which you’ve already surpassed in life, e.g., a promotion to management, job certification, a higher degree in education, or a rite of passage allowing them to excel passed their recent ranks in position.
Personally, my success is defined in one simple action each morning; what’s yours? I’ll get into that later. The goal here is to bring an outside perspective of success into a world I once graded myself on daily.
Through the five love languages each are embedded into what speaks to our soul, mind, and thriving spirits. Individually our internal systems of gratification are triggered differently. Some people don’t care for a physical touch, others seek words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, and for me it’s acts of service. I’ll focus on each love language one at a time.
This is part one — I’ll begin with one of the more difficult love languages to explain.
Acts of service is the transaction of servicing the heart. I define heart as the deep child like being within each of us often desiring comfort, care, stability, and structure. It’s what keeps the lights on inside otherwise we’re playing the game with our ego – the protector.
Acts of service is the transactional gesture of satisfying your loved ones. Love, having its many layers is different for everyone. In case you’re confused with the act of giving a gift and words of affirmation, it differs in that the transaction must be specific to one’s self-fulfillment.
A gift might be deemed an act of service but if it doesn’t resonate with you the object isn’t fulfilling. Help with accomplishing a difficult task at work or at home, writing a letter of recommendation, or providing you with a tool to succeed is servicing for convenience. It differs from the other four in that it empowers your ability to prosper easier. It’s one of the more difficult love languages to comprehend in relationships – most of it’s contextual.
Words can transcribe to a service, but the essence is in transcendence, i.e., a life lesson, inspiration, or a motivating speech. In this case words of affirmation differ from acts of service by the speaker’s unsolicited approach
Some people thrive off random compliments — I don’t but can depending on the situation.
Blindly projecting your own love language onto someone is the foundation of a dysfunctional relationship. I cannot stress how important context is. It can confuse the way we express ourselves to each other. We can all appreciate each layer of love but ask yourself what most speaks to you at any given moment?
In the acts of service, a gift can help you prosper but that’s up to you in how you define succeeding. Whichever love language allows you to feel most good can be your key to success. The prospering part is understanding how not to project it onto others until you share that deep connection with them.
I’m not a relationship counselor and this information was developed from experience and a couple books I never finished. It becomes simple when you comprehend your own first.
How awkward would it be to ask your co-workers what their love language is? The idea is to understand love’s layers first; love for friendship, love for family, the people you work with, and it’s best to spark the conversation with a close friend or spouse first.
I began writing this to emphasize my appreciation for understanding the world I can live in. From my home office I share this from the heart – to those I believe are reading.
Every morning it starts with 11 deep breaths, stretching, and meditation. Without an order of such transactions how else would I serve myself to have successfully reached you?