I got this idea from a movie; to explore each moment profoundly by avoiding the impulse to capture it with a camera. This post was published months after I purchased my first BMW. Needless to say, I was infatuated. Soon after, my taste and desire evolved and I became more attracted to BMW’s higher end models. From there every M4, M6, & M-Car in sight was a moment I wanted embrace, but camera’s never did these moments any justice. Over time, I found that a camera takes time and attention away from a true experience, and jeopardizes a joyous moment in time to remember. Although capturing a photo allows for many perspectives of a story to be shared and manifested, it fails to relay a humane experience in reality.

April 26, 2015

There I was driving infatuated on my BMW’s interior beige leather, stiff M steering wheel, low riding V8 beast and staggered wheels ripping up the streets of Portland. While passing the latest 5-series BMW, I’d tell myself, “one day…” and yeah, that day comes. First, I’m mesmerized with what I’m driving. Two days prior to buying my 2000 540i M-Sport, I told my friends what I was buying, and with little doubt, I was in for the werkes once I drove it off the lot.

I read up on BMW’s M-Dynamic Mode (MDM) featured in the M5. It gives the car a higher lateral of dynamics and acceleration for controlled drifting. And then, I wanted one. But again, I had to enjoy what I was wheeling at the time.

So, I drove that 540i like an M5. Looked at it like an M-wheeling beast….Because I could!

BMW’s E39 is their fourth generation 5-series. From 1995-2004, many cars wouldn’t stand a chance in an overall rating of vehicle performance, e.g., Dodge Charger, Chevy Camaro, or Ford Mustang. I say this because I’ve driven them all.

BMW’s E60 M5 is all but an upgrade in performance technologies from its predecessor E39, in terms of the horsepower, torque, and the ‘MDM’ mentioned earlier.

There’re plenty of vehicles that catch my vulnerable eye, and like most millennials, I’m tempted to capture a photo of those ‘eyegasming’ vehicles with my iPhone.

In all the times I’ve perused through my phone’s photo album to recapture a moment, regardless of the photo quality, I can only reminisce in my head what was occurring while the photo was being taken.

Later to understand the photo is representative of a time compromised by an overt need to relive it. With that said, what’s recalled is the actions of grabbing it, opening the camera, and focusing…Before you know it the moment never existed.

Summer of 2014, about three weeks before buying my first BMW, I was on my way home from Jonesboro, Louisiana and had to layover at the Phoenix Sky Harbor Int’l Airport. During our initial descent, I awakened from a nap to the most alluring view of the stars over Arizona’s darkest desert. Meanwhile, Carlos Santana and Michelle Branch‘s Game of Love was playing through my earphones.

Stargazing at 15,000 feet is rare, and it was coming to an end as we were getting closer to the light diluted skies over Phoenix. Distractions would’ve hindered the time I had to enjoy the stars in clear view out my window. Mesmerized by the constellations, every star’s light contrast, its bluish and purple star ribbons shining out of the dark canvasing skies, this was the moment I recoiled from touching my phone.

I didn’t see myself enjoying the skies any other way. My phone remained in my lap, and my forehead glued to the carbon fiber windows of the US Airways aircraft.

Later recalling the moment on the plane when watching The Secret World of Walter Mitty, during the scene where Walter (Ben Stiller) finds Sean Penn in the Himalayas, they immediately spot a Snow Leopard. Sean’s character doesn’t actually take the photo with his Nikon F3/T camera because he didn’t want to ruin such a rare experience. Instead, they embrace the happenings while in the presence of this rarely seen Snow Leopard. And what he referred to as the ‘Ghost Cat’.

What a way to cherish the blessings of nature. And nothing’s wrong with snapping a photo of things, but your attention to what matters is put into something subjective in time.

But back to my first BMW…

The aftermarket headrest decals look great, don’t you agree? Cheaply done, but this interior view is quite the aggressive look when all four windows are 3/4 rolled down, or up, depending on your outlook of life. See the curtains behind the headrests? I kept them up to distort views into the front of my car, and drivers behind me would be confused. It gave my interior a dark and subtle luxury feel. Some people appreciated it, as if I was their chauffeur. I’m sure BMW didn’t intend to have that option as its sole purpose, but more as a function to my ego…

While dreaming of an upgrade to either a 550i or X5 with staggered Michelin tires, a girl once told me, “at least you aren’t breaking your neck for other women around me...” And then I said, “Hell, wait until we get to an airport…”

With all the Instagram posts capturing moments at the right time and place, I realized a good camera is what I might be missing. I’m constantly double taping posts of pretty pictures of cars and airplanes on my BuddWrite’s IG account.

Mainly of cars taken by people who care to share their experience. But it’s not the same. I know what it feels like to be next to a beautiful four-wheeled Bavarian beast and not get to drive it.

It’s where ambition comes from.

They say, “take a picture, it’ll last longer….” and I call bullshit on that. I say seize the moment, as if its forever, because one day like treasure, it’ll find its way to you. And that’s much better.

See it, feel it, and receive it. Through bliss that’s how dreams typically werke out. You just gotta’ be a beast in your own lane about it 😉

-Budd