Photo by Sean Pierce on Unsplash

October 12, 2019

As the producer goes out for lunch, hours would pass before he/she returns. Actor and director know the script. But there often comes a time when either of them need approval to proceed in the scene.

The director can’t seem to sync with improv actions by the actor. Things get to happening a bit too fast, and egos collide.

Soon a text from the producer who at the moment is hopping into his/her fancy car, heading back to the studio responds with a, “Yeah, just go with all of it. We’ll edit ‘stuff’ out later…”

The tension stage left has the make-up artist portraying incompetent faces. Meanwhile camera men and women are spinning film. But the producer says we’ll take it all.

The indie-film of life get’s a break after the crew replays the last take. It’s never that bad, isn’t it?

When the actor is tired, the film stands still. Arriving late evening the producer would come to meet an unambitious standing crew — “because the actor is tired, tired…?” They shout.

Director gazes in the moment to give a perspective of reality. The consensus was this, “we are all tired, and no matter where you are in this race we get shit done for everyone else,” with crossed arms the actor rolls his/her eyes.

The goal is clear; done is better than not getting started, or incomplete.

Whatever the crew watch later will be the essence of cause. It happened, get over it. It’s 2019 by the way, people forget to forget.

I have no experience in film, but the producer of my life is often in la-la land remotely watching me. As the actor, a director guides. Emotions of the exterior world become distracting. And that’s a part of the process.

Just enjoy the shit — only YOU have the pain of dealing with the mess. And since I’m using the analogy of film production, allow me to clarify.

Assuming you’re in touch with your producer, or higher-self, the moments you forget to keep them all close are in contrast the moments we forget who we are. You the actor, as Id best describes it, will fuss with ego all day.

In reality you are the producer. Let the actor and director do what they do best. Which is play out the film to best follow the script.

It’s OK to act as if it’s projected an Oscar. The world needs your drama. Best you than them.


Born and raised in Portland, Oregon, Budd writes to encourage readers to explore the depths of their inner ocean, an unexplored self, because it's fun once you get through the emotional part... “The world around us is our vehicle, what you'll read is how I digest it.” -Budd

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