June 24, 2018
Inspired by Judy Ann Kent…
I’ll always appreciate the imperfection of something that’s assumed incomplete, because as a human being we can manifest continuity at any point – thus eternity until death. You’ll need to realize we are all individual creators. So, if Curren$y’s rhymes can remind me what all I do this for, then I share my mother’s journal as a tool for inspiration. If my mother was not alive today, the energy she produces in the world would still carry on for an eternity.
And she first wrote:
“what a day to bath my little boy Terrell, when he felt really uncomfortable and wiggled in the bathtub, but he finally stopped wiggling and cried, and I got him out to dry him and dress him. Then he was in my arms again warm and snug as a rug…” – J.Kent
As I understood it, being a mamma’s boy meant that I could be whatever I wanted to be – because my mom told me I could be. Most days it was information overload because when Judy suggested that I become a doctor or lawyer at the ages of 7 – 11, I rebelled and proceeded with Batman; because I knew that doctors and lawyers would serve Bruce Wayne after saving Gotham City.
“…he smiles so much that I believe he’s talking to angels” – J.Kent
Life was interesting back then because I often wondered a lot about the things outside of our well-being; from all perspectives, dimensions, and beyond our universe. I was often looking for a connection through a hierarchy of platforms and networks manifested by the individuals of our past time here on earth. I read encyclopedias often as a child.
“My son has a social life of interested children from ages 2 and up…he listens and learns from their unusual behaviors. I usually have to tell my two-year-old [Kimi] to slow down because of his long-lasting attention span…” – J.Kent
I found out early in life that this connection, is the abundance of life we take for granted. The ‘attention span’ my mother describes me having when my sister Kimi would be helping me with something, amuses me as she proceeds to write about the choice of information I retain.
The idea of an abundance in life was nothing more than my abilities to grasp onto certain pieces of information that got me closer to understanding the connection I was looking for.
“My precious boy has learned to hold on really tight to one finger – he loves this when he’s sucking his thumb or just trying to get attention….He brings me the joy and delight of something wonderful and all because God made it that way” – J.Kent
I figured that if my father could spend 38 plus years of marriage with my mother, then maybe I would look for a girl like Judy to court. But I eventually found out that I was nothing like my father, because his confusion of my sexuality led me to believe we are not alike.
To marry a woman like my mother, would mean I would consciously be following my father. And considering my mother always told me I could be anything I wanted to be, I had to do whatever necessary in my benefit to live up to whatever I was becoming.
Eventually I found the woman who dreamt a similar dream I did in my childhood…
“By now Terrell is noticing things and playing with objects…. he loves to laugh but gets discouraged easy….” – J.Kent
I was definitely a moody kid and I never knew how to control my moods. I figured this was something I got from my father but that wasn’t the case. My mother understands and recognizes discouragement in anyone. Even in my teenage years when I lost structure in my life, I would get so down in hope because I frequently failed to see the bigger picture. However, back then, I was only in hopes that I wasn’t a failure in the bigger picture – thus, my anxiety.
“In the morning bright and early, I hear Terrell talking and laughing.” – J.Kent
I never thought the words above would play in sync with the visual I once had of waking up to a beautiful woman of mine. My mother wrote this as if she envisioned a perfect life for me.
…as mornings are to a day, birth is to life. – Judy’s boi’
This was the foundation I needed to live in an enthusiastic manor – thus, my fate.
“…but I know he is curious and loves to explore” – J.Kent
Deep down I’m still the little boy whose mom let ride his bike to the airport in the summer of 1995. Although the idea came to me in 1994 when I was 7 riding to Grandma’ Joe’s house, thinking back, most days I didn’t make it past the 42nd ave overpass because I was afraid of heights. However, on the days I successfully rode over the overpass, on through Columbia Blvd, past the military base, and finally onto 82nd ave to view the planes land at PDX, I envisioned something a lot more to follow in my journey of life.
Watching the airplane’s descent from the sky was symbolic to me, symbolic of freedom – as airports were symbolic of a gateway to freedom. I guess my mother was OK with this? So, when I say I’m still the little boy who rode his bike to the airport to watch airplanes land, the only difference today is that I have a few extra buc’s to get much further than 28 L.
Because it’s still the same sun shining on me today as it was the day I was born, and I recognize my journey comes to full fruition with every affirming accomplishment in my life. I want the world to see the story I manifested because I’ve seen and felt enough of the world to know that if you’ve read this far, you are a part of my story as well.
“He is a gentle loving boy with a lot of smiles for everyone…” – J.Kent
I dreamt a dream that was in the wildest dreams of my mother. But I’m successful because she told me to be whatever I wanted to be. The human mind is so complex, not even our conscious fundamentals are understood on the most basic governing levels. So, what you’re reading is nothing more than a plan once thought of, but through inspiration, exploration, courage and wit – there’s an abundance of belief that takes us further than the sky.
That’s my dear mama’!
All donors upon request, will be provided a link to download the audio recording of ‘AN EYE BETWEEN MY HAIKU‘. You’ll have the opportunity to hear my beautiful voice develop — I will also include the PDF manuscript of the book!
Either way your support, I appreciate you!