Day 24 of 44 — I’m writing to the days I wanted to give up. On everything which brings me this far. But then I remember all I gotta’ do is show up!

Photo by Camille Minouflet on Unsplash

Monday, November 11, 2019

On a morning I cried for reasons I can’t see, I’d push myself away from the emotions that repeat.

I didn’t plan to be here — the day I said, “fuck it”, is now and I’m still writing here.

What is it about the give up mentality that fools us into a greedy way of being?

We’re going to be here for a while; it’s in our best interest to make it worth each trial.

I’d love to hear your greatest tribulation, so that I can remind you how great you are!

Embracing the painful scares our eyes have seen.

Rubbing the gentle hands she caressed by me.

As complicated as this may be, what would push me is if you could take my next breath from me.

Breathe it for me as the thoughts are deepening.

Not sure of any momentary laughter.

And suddenly hope creeps in after…

Then I’m sad again.

As a wave it’s much like life’s ocean.

You sit back and enjoy the energy in motion.

Be yourself as the beach is your self for scoping.

You won’t be lonely there forever.

Just til’ you learn how to enjoy it despite the weather.


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Born and raised in Portland, Oregon, Budd writes to encourage readers to explore the depths of their inner ocean, an unexplored self, because it's fun once you get through the emotional part... “The world around us is our vehicle, what you'll read is how I digest it.” -Budd

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