Photo by Oliver Plattner on Unsplash

Friday, November 8, 2019

I’m writing to share with readers my experience breaking through shells of an old personality. A journey which began at the pinnacle of my success; however, it wasn’t ‘me’ in the full package. I came into writing full-time with enough in savings to hold me over a year. From previous years working and putting away for a dream not many care to pursue, what I end up doing would be who I needed to overcome.

I’ve worked in sales, technical support, marketing, credentialing, recruiting, retail, and a few more but all to conclude the nature of each role was just. Meaning, I was just playing a role.

When freelancing was put on hold to write books, I knew I’d be risking my income. When I left my last job making over six-figures, I knew I’d be risking an image.

An image of who?

Where I’m at today is a result of me breaking the barriers to become who I once limited myself from being. In context, everyday is a learning experience. I wake up looking forward to learning something new. The day is full of ups, downs, or nothing.

Choose if you may…

Crowdfunding was something I knew my journey would involve. When, however, stalled me from achieving.

When you think you’re not ready for something take it from a project most successful Crowdfunder’s have mentioned. I recently read up on the Statue of Liberty and its rich history of an individual’s vision who shared it with everyone, including those he knew would care. It would be decades before American’s welcomed the statue; woman’s rights activists weren’t happy about it given they didn’t have rights to vote, it wasn’t exactly designed for America, but the gift it became first required two ends of the Atlantic to fundraise.

Without going further into the history of Lady Liberty, embracing ambiguity is often the essence when a vision is strong.

You don’t know when or if you’ll succeed at the next thing. What matters is holding on to whatever it takes to get the job done. Some people have hope, others have faith, while the best of them find investors and shoot straight for success in 5 years.

Lucky bastards – but in my journey of self-publishing I can feel why people fail and give up, becoming the lessor 10% of businesses that tank in their first year.

For the top 5% who succeed (give or take because I didn’t look up the latest stats), here’s what you also embraced; self-awareness.

Understanding in every moment of doubt it’s not you, it’s a fearful trait reminding you to move on. You sustain the grit needed for emotional intelligence; your vision is never jeopardized by a mood, people do not determine your objectives, and flexibility is a superpower.

I first showed up to promote my GoFundMe but didn’t bring the person who succeeds with me. I kicked off the campaign early after realizing finances are ‘bad’. Instead of moving with anxiety to grow, I sat and got depressed.

The lesson here, success lies in the next step.

Finding supporters who care is difficult, but the fear this brought would be disguised by what people are saying about me.

Would you laugh at someone following their heart? Would you embrace the emotional roller coaster of envisioning everyone saying no to you? Would you stop to play it safe if finances were the key to will forward?

Frédéric Auguste Bartholdi faced it all to get a monument he envisioned in his head instilled in billions of others’ forever. For the introverts who must sell their dreams to everyone daily, first realize you must sell yourself to yourself.

My point of inspiration, the end goal is much bigger than you today. The worry of image doesn’t exist if you buy into yourself every morning. I broke through the fears of my image, what people may think of my passions, and the anxieties telling me who I needed to become to accomplish my next task. Which led me to embracing discomfort.

If your most passionate accomplishment was 500 emails away from now would you go for it? You believe you have enough people in your community and network who trust you to execute, would you ask them for help?

It takes emotional intelligence to show up daily despite doubt and uncertainty. Self-compassion to move on from mistakes. Hard work to write from the heart each time. And trust in the communities you approach.

More importantly it takes you – an imageless heart to showcase through a body who’ll become. It takes no roles when selling yourself, but the excitement of who next you may need to be to achieve.

No matter what happens, be all-in with your feelings to your supporters. The image of them watching you stand tall is what you must now protect.


Would You Help Fund A Writer?

Born and raised in Portland, Oregon, Budd writes to encourage readers to explore the depths of their inner ocean, an unexplored self, because it's fun once you get through the emotional part... “The world around us is our vehicle, what you'll read is how I digest it.” -Budd

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