Photo by Anthony DELANOIX on Unsplash

Friday, October 25, 2019

When the music begins, so does life. I rocked the baby to sleep and give no context to why. This is day 7 of 44 — a story campaign to promote my GoFundMe while I’m broke. And for the music, it begins the adventure of the walk out of a financial crisis. As in, ‘this’ song playing makes me feel good, therefore allowing me to get on with life.

As for baby, he’s experiencing. Looking into his eyes only time will begin to inform him what all this is. What do I mean? He looks me in the eye and only time will tell him what I’m experiencing.

Daring to dream: people watch you; awaiting your fault, all to gossip about you amongst others. The insecurities are best handled in a stoic manner— if they are not at hand, it’s your imagination you’re letting in to bother you.

Most of us suffer in the minds of our spinning thoughts. When an animal is in threat it quickly dispatches itself from the situation. Humans, however, have memory. We dwell even after the scariest events are far behind us.


Emotionally we’re configured to be guided back to a good feeling. Your negative emotions are there to inform you your thoughts are ‘bad’. The discomfort starts from unpredictable places, we can’t always control our emotions, but by action is as far as we can get.

Sit down and chill.

For every story in this campaign, again to promote my GoFundMe, I’ve given an oath to try the plan with all my heart. The heart influences, and an audience is required to do so.

While my goal is for you to donate, I’ll conclude with this.

I don’t care if I don’t get to my dollar amount goal, although I need to, the plan is to set aside expectations and do the work.

When I first thought of this plan I was heading to DHS to get food stamps. My emotions then stopped me as if I’m good on going for help. What began spinning was the plan; execution, timing, and the words I’ll add each day. From day one a word is added to eventually conclude a 44-word message.

The only rule is set — give the writings my heart, in the very moment as if time was no factor. Moments are all we are. As I rocked my nephew to sleep I had one rule; set one foot before the other.

I wrote this during his nap today — he only falls asleep with me if I’m walking and rocking him.

Anyways, that is life and the music creates a rhythm. A straight line walk for the baby can sleep with quiet thoughts. Lord knows what’s been on my mind, this plan is ever so changing.

What’s not changing is my commitment — to a passion, a drive, all to share with the world my journey of emotional intelligence and self-redevelopment.

In learning how to separate my thoughts from my emotions, I figured I’d share that journey with you.

What became the other side of overcoming habitual negative thought patterns, is an infinite moment as if the music never stops. For a plan I’m committed to, you’re now reading my heart.

If you could see the artist’s music through a picture, could you see the writer’s heart through words?

Stay tuned…


Would You Help Fund A Writer?

Born and raised in Portland, Oregon, Budd writes to encourage readers to explore the depths of their inner ocean, an unexplored self, because it's fun once you get through the emotional part... “The world around us is our vehicle, what you'll read is how I digest it.” -Budd

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: